大家期待已久的兩個續篇，我其實老早寫好了。但，我不打算貼上來。
開始時，只想寫寫自己幾十年來策劃離家出走的故事，也反省一下自己對母親的虧欠。當涉及「歷史」和「記錄」，愈寫下去，愈覺得自己在公開控訴家中幾位要員──但他們沒有反駁和自辯的餘地──已經偏離了我原先的寫作目的了。想了又想，我真要做這麼涼薄的事？這樣，我會討厭自己！
我想，我在這個Blog中也實在對別人（尤其家人）太多批評、太多指控，我不希望成為一個只管complain、complain、complain的刻薄中女。在我身邊的人物事這麼多，我卻目空一切美善，眼中腦中只肯寄存惡事憾事。若要如此人生，不如及早放棄做人！
我的天空何其大、何其美，原已不能全部記住，還要把空間花去記恨，那真是白白浪費自己的美麗人生！所以，朋友，這個充滿怨氣的Blog我要停寫了。儘管這樣，我還是喜歡寫東西，還是想和大家分享生活瑣事。待交完功課，容我在網路上讓大家認識一個全新的「我」吧！
8 comments:
Dear Lo Fei
'Anger' was so pronounced in your diary that i couldn't help but mentioned to Sam over the phone when he was reflecting on his relationship with his dad. I saw no the joy or peace in mind in your previous sharings which make this little detour so much more endearing.
Your boldness and honesty deserves rounds of applause. It takes lots of courage, guts and integrity in one's character to speak the truth and to spill out your feelings. But as a friend, it breaks my heart to see you tormented and haunted by the ghosts of the past and yet try futilely to comfort yourself with self-denial.
Let go. Though I hate cliches, things will change, for better or worse.
Take good care!
lamb
P.S. I spotted (at least) two typos in my message but forgot how to delete the message. How annoying! Another lession to learn: Let bygones be gones!
thanks lamb!
i was not so haunted and am not denying myself, truely! it is all about "righteousness" and "benevolence", and, as you have said, "Let bygones be gones!" then why do i recall grievances that have already disappeared in the middle of nowhere to break the hearts of my friends, my family as well as mine again?
please rest assured that i am always true to myself, my friends and my God. There's nothing to hide away from, just don't want them to be published to hurt any!
how are you these days? do email me!
love from fating
I'm not in the best shape as far as work (any kind) is concerned, as suggested by the scores of mistakes made such as the daft typo in what really should be 'let bygones be [by]gones'!
other than that, i'm absolutely fine!
hey! your "mistake" mocked me la!!
你都好得人鍾意o者, 咁識氹阿婆!!
我都覺得fating人又好，心又甜，真係好鬼得人鍾意...
夠啦夠啦我認啦, 我人靚聲甜又善解人意, 讚夠啦o下, 多謝各位!
Post a Comment